


I wanna crack the door so I can just fall out

by hiddenforestgirl98



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Blood, Gore, Sad Ending, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 17:05:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19010086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddenforestgirl98/pseuds/hiddenforestgirl98
Summary: This is the end.





	I wanna crack the door so I can just fall out

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: this fanfic has heavy details of suicide and goreish imagery. If you are sensitive to death, dying, blood, or suicide please don’t read. This is a vent fic for me because I like to write about sad things.

Panic. That’s all he could feel. Pure. Raw. Panic. 

Tyler sped down the highway blowing red lights and stop signs. “This can’t be happening.”

He wanted it to be a lie. He prayed to God Jordan was playing a prank on him. But the sound of his voice on the other end of the phone is what makes him press on his gas pedal harder. 

Tyler rememberers his pocket buzzing expecting it to be Josh letting him know he was on his way to his house from the airport. Instead he sees Jordan’s name pop up on the caller ID. Weird. 

“Hey Jorden. What’s up?” Tyler asks. But there’s a pause on the other end; and he can hear what sounds like crying. Tyler’s blood runs cold and his mind automatically starts running a million miles and hour. “Jordan what’s wrong?” 

Another sob. 

“Jordan, is it Josh? What happened?” He presses. 

“He got in a car accident. He’s in the hospital.” Jordan finally chokes out. 

Tyler’s stomach drops to his feet and his heart feels like it’s going to implode. “Have your mother send me the address to the hospital. Do you know how it happened?” While Jordan fills him in Tyler simultaneously grabs his keys and heads out the door. 

“It was drunk driver. They ran a red light and T-boned Josh on the driver side.” Jordan tried his best to compose himself but Tyler could hear the cracks in his voice with every word. 

“Don’t worry Jordan. I’m on my way right now. I’ll meet you and your mom at the hospital.” Tyler wanted to comfort Jordan best he could; but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t shaking like a leaf right now.  
"God please let him be ok.", he begged. 

After some rather reckless driving Tyler all but ran to the emergency department asking for Josh Dun’s room number. 

“I’m sorry sir but he’s undergoing emergency surgery at the moment. I can take you to the waiting room and the doctor will be out afterwards, but I have no idea how long it will take.” Tyler could tell the nurse was doing her best to help. But he couldn’t help the tears forming in his eyes. Surgery. That’s not good. 

Tyler paced for what seemed hours until the rest of Josh’s family came into the waiting room. Prayers were being sent and worried faces tried to reassure one another. 

Then the doctor came in. 

When he lifted his head from his clip board it was there, Tyler could see it, in his eyes. He knows that look. Defeated. Defensive. And oh so tired. He’d seen it on the doctor’s face the same night he was told his grandfather died. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Dun?” His eyes carefully scanned the room until the spotted a crumbled husband and wife clutching each other. Bracing. The doctor took a long breath. 

No. 

“I’m very sorry-“ No.  
“but the surgery-“ No no.  
“was unsuccessful.” 

No. 

“Oh God no!” Tyler watched as Mrs. Dun sank to the floor as Mr. Dun tried to support her while he himself collapsed. 

“I’m afraid your son didn’t survive the crash. I’m very sorry for your loss.” 

No. No. No no no no no nononononono!

This can’t be real. This isn’t real.  
Tyler felt like he was going to throw up. Anger. Sadness. Loss. He was lost. Nothing felt real. All he could feel was static. He didn’t know where he was going but he had to get out of there. 

Josh. Josh. He can’t be dead. He can’t be... Tyler was lost. Panic. The fucking panic. Tyler felt like screaming. And that’s exactly what he did. He got inside his car and spead home; screaming until his voice was raw and sore. And then he screamed some more. He parked haphazardly on his drive way and ran into his home. Up the stairs and into his bathroom. He looked in the mirror and when he locked eyes with his own reflection it sank in. Josh was gone. He was dead. Dead and gone. Goner. 

Before he could register his own actions Tyler slammed a fist through the mirror and dozens of shards fell into the sink and onto the bathroom floor. There he sank to the ground and sobbed into the tile. His fists slammed against the ground as tears streamed down his face. 

“Why him!? Why him!! Take me instead! Take anyone but him! He was all I had Goddamn you!” Tyler begged but he knew it wouldn’t do any good. Josh wasn’t going to come back. The one thing in his life that brought him joy. His smile. Their secret hand shake. Playing shows together. The music. All of it was gone. 

Tyler’s body shook as the contents of his stomach emptied into the trash can of his bathroom. He couldn’t do this. He needed Josh. What was the point in any of it if his reason for everything he did was taken from him. 

Tyler’s mind began to wonder and he glanced at the broken shards of glass spread on his bathroom floor. They were gleaming in the light. Almost tauntingly. Like they were waiting for him. 

His hand, with bloody knuckles caked in tiny pieces of broken glass, reached for a particularly large shard resting in the center of the pile. He was shaking with anticipation. 

“It would be so easy...” Too easy in fact. Way easier than any of this. Josh was gone. He left Tyler alone in this world. How could he not do it? What was the alternative? Become a one man band? Find another drummer? Live in a world that had taken everything from him?

No. Fuck that. 

Then just like that he watched his own hand drag that angulated dagger down. Down. Down his arm. At first it was just a few bubbles of crimson that beaded their way in between the fat of Tyler’s arm. Oh. That’s deep. He felt his heart quicken in pace as he switched hands and did the same thing on the other arm. 

“I’ll be there soon Josh.” Tyler got up from the floor and sat inside his bathtub. He rested his arms on his knees and watched as the gashes on his arms quickly turned from a few bright red bubbles to a dark; steady flow of blood draining out of his body and down the drain. 

Dizziness was what he felt first. His vision was getting really blurry. Like little tiny shadows dancing in his peripheral. Then his body started to get cold. He wanted to lean over and turn on the shower head to get warm but he couldn’t find the strength to lift his body. 

Every breath he took got more shallow with longer pauses in between. He shut his eyes and listened to his heart beat slow to a dull thud. 

Columbus, Ohio. Their home tour. Tyler is belting their lyrics as loud as he can. The energy from the pit sends sparks through every nerve in his body. He looks over at his bandmate. Josh. He’s hitting his drums with all the might his muscles can bare. They lock eyes and time almost slows. That shared silence of music tells them everything they need to know. 

“We made it.” 

Tyler clings to that perfect memory of his best friend until he takes his last breath and all the warmth of his life goes down the drain. 

Now he just sits in silence.


End file.
